Posted by: Sherry Goodwin | February 6, 2014

February, 1851.

I feel that the beginning of this year ought to be marked as the commencement of a new life-chapter, because it was then that, for the first time, I ever knew what it was to have one gleam of hope or trust in Christ, or one spark of conscious faith.  Not that I would date conversion exactly from this time;  that I cannot fix.  The time I know not, the fact I would desire to “make sure” more and more.

Having broken the ice by speaking on sacred things with a few at Belmont, it was the less difficult to do so again, and before long I had made a confidante of Miss Cooke (who afterwards became my loved mother).  I think it must have been February when she was visiting at Oakhampton at the same time with me and had several conversations with me, each of which made me more earnest and hopeful.  At last, one evening, (I remember it was twilight,) I sat on the drawing-room sofa alone with her, and told her again how I longed to know that I was forgiven.  She asked me a question which led to the hearty answer that I was sure I desired it above everything on earth, that even my precious papa was nothing in comparison,–brothers and sisters, and all I loved, I could lose everything were it but to attain this.  She paused, and then said slowly:  “Then Fanny, I think, I am sure, it will not be very long before your desire is granted, your hope fulfilled.”  After a few more words, she said:  “Why cannot you trust yourself to your Saviour at once?   Supposing that now, at this moment, Christ were to come in the clouds of heaven, and take up His redeemed, could you not trust Him?  Would not His call, His promise, be enough for you?  Could you not commit your soul to Him, to your Saviour, Jesus?”  Then came a flash of hope across me, which made me feel literally breathless.  I remember how my heart beat.  “I could, surely,” was my response; and I left her suddenly and ran away upstairs to think it out.  I flung myself on my knees in my room, and strove to realize the sudden hope.  I was very happy at last.  I could commit my soul to Jesus.  I did not, and need not, fear His coming.  I could trust Him with my all for eternity.  It was so utterly new to have any bright thoughts about religion that I could hardly believe it could be so, that I had really gained such a step.   Then and there, I committed my soul to the Saviour, I do not mean to say without any trembling or fear, but I did–and earth and heaven seemed bright from that moment–I did trust the Lord Jesus.

Frances Ridley Havergal from MEMORIALS

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